Tuesday, May 4, 2010

H O R R E U R - S C O P E

ELLERY SHOW.... WHAT.... A.... DISASTER....HA!! ALMOST HAD YOU DIDN'T I! AS IF, RIGHT? AT AROUND 10.30 PM LAST NIGHT, AUSTRALIA'S GOLDEN CHILD ONCE AGAIN HIT THE SEQUINED COVERED NAIL ON THE FASHION WORLDS HEAD. BUT BEFORE THE APPLAUSE HAD ERUPTED THE TEAM FROM EVH PR INVITED ME BACKSTAGE TO TAKE A FEW SHOT'S OF WHAT WAS TO COME. ONE OF MY FAVORITE INVITATIONS TO COME ACROSS! ONCE I FINALLY MADE IT AROUND THE BACK (FOX STUDIOS IS LIKE A METAL MAZE OF "YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY") I FOUND MISS ELLERY ON THE FLOOR SEWING ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITE MODELS RACHEL RUTT INTO HER FINAL (AND MY FAVORITE) LOOK, THE GIRL WITH THE IMPOSSIBLE BONE STRUCTURE CASSIE VAN WHAT'S HER NAME SMOKING NEAR THE FROZEN YOGHURT'S AND A LINE OF GIRLS WAITING TO HAVE THEIR SWAROVSKI CRYSTAL'S HAND APPLIED. AS I WONDERED AROUND TRYING MY HARDEST NOT TO GET INTO ANYONES WAY THE GENERAL CONSENSUS WAS THAT IT WAS HOT. BOTH LITERALLY AND PHILOSOPHICALLY, SUEDE, SILK AND FUR WAS PERHAPS A BAD CHOICE ON MY BEHALF! TOO MANY PEOPLE AND TOO MANY HAIRDRYERS MAKE FOR A STEAMY SITUATION AND A GOOD REASON TO SWITCH FROM BACKSTAGE TO FRONT OF HOUSE WHERE WE ALL FOUND OUR SPOTS AROUND THE CIRCULAR RUNWAY. THE PHRASE "IF YOU BUILD IT, THEY WILL COME" IMMEDIATELY CAME TO MIND AS I WATCHED BOYS AND GIRLS FILE IN, IN THE TEN'S AND DOZENS TO FILL THE NONEXISTENT GAPS IN THE CROWD. THEN IT WAS THE SAME AS ALWAYS, LIGHTS OUT, THEN DIMMED. MUSIC CUT, THEN INCREDIBLY LOUD AND AN ALL TOO FAMILIAR ANTICIPATION THAT THE SHOW IS ABOUT TO START.... AND AS THE FIRST IMPOSSIBLY TALL GIRL WALKS OUT, YOU KNOW IT'S BEGUN. ONLY THIS TIME IT'S NOT LIKE ANY OF THE SHOWS SO FAR, INSTEAD OF MUTED NUDES AND SHEATHS OF FABRIC WITH VERY (EVEN FOR ME) LOW OPACITY, SHE SENDS US FLARES, VEILS, CAPES AND SEQUINS. A PARTICULARLY SPECTACULAR MUSTARD FEATHER SKIRT SUIT AND A REAL ITCH FOR ALL THINGS ABBA AND INSTEAD OF THE USUAL UP AND DOWN SHE GAVE US TWO ROTATIONS OF A PYRAMID CLAD CIRCLE WHICH WAS SWIFTLY EXECUTED BY ALL INVITED, NO EASY TASK AS WE ALL KNOW IT'S QUITE HARD TO LOOK SEXY WALKING IN A CIRCLE. (AM I RIGHT, LADIES?) YES, YES.  KYM ELLERY WAS LITERALLY RUNNING CIRCLES AROUND US... AGAIN. SHE LEFT US WITH THAT THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT BEFORE THEY CAME BACK OUT TO GIVE US A FINALE THAT WOULD MAKE ANYBODY SNAP HAPPY. ONE BY ONE THEY CAME OUT AND FORMED A CIRCLE, AROUND OUR CIRCLE (A SCENE I THINK I'VE SEEN BEFORE IN CIRQUE DU SOLIL SANS SCARY MAKEUP AND OVERLY ENTHUSIASTIC DOUBLE HANDED WAVES) THEN APPEARED ELLERY AND WITH A QUICK FLICK OF THE WRIST, AS IF TO SAY "YOU'RE WELCOME"  THEY EACH TURNED ON THEIR CRYSTAL ENCRUSTED BOOTIES AND IT WAS ALL OVER. WELL DONE KYMMY, AS EXPECTED, IT WAS A MASTERPIECE.


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